So I’m looking through social media (basically how I spend my days) as I scroll there are dozens of “hello April” , “goodbye March” type of statuses. Positive people welcoming the new month and congratulating themselves on an amazing March! “I achieved so much” “wow, look what I did in March”, “I’m amazing etc.” “I can’t wait to see what April brings!” “Another month to achieve so much more!!” Blah blah blah.
First of all, well done you!…no really!
Second, spare a thought for some of us who barely know what the day is and dread the thought of another month where nothing will be achieved. We’ll get to the end of it and instead of thinking of all the things we have achieved, I’ll be thinking about what I haven’t done!!
So March has gone, and I have achieved hmmmm…
Getting out of bed, getting dressed, 4 weeks of school runs, appointments for me, and the rest of the Morphews! Dinners (when able) ummmm… Swimming lessons?
I think that’s it, no huge steps in any directions, nothing interesting. Nothing!
Oh blimey I didn’t realise how bad I felt about the passing of time and me still being here in this low. I’m hoping it’s just a bad couple of days because it is a new month. I think I need to set myself some goals or challenges to achieve this month so it doesn’t just pass me by in a blur of depression and daily routines.
I’m back from a break, a lovely friend came around with make-up and her boys to play. I feel less in a rut now! lets look at my diary for March. I have achieved:
- 3 sessions of William Play therapy
- 2 dressing up days
- Meeting in school for William
- parents evening
- 3 counselling sessions
- Tim away for a few days
- Doctors, increase in medication
- Trip to London
- Hospital trips x2
- Bake birthday cakes for a friend
- Henry jabs
- Occupational health meeting
- Mum and Dad away 1 week
- Meeting with HR
- Poorly William
- Poorly Tim
- Poorly me!
- plus the day to day, up dressed, feed, water, school run, house tidying (sometimes), cooking, washing, mowing grass etc.
I have achieved a lot. Yes I have. This month has has its ups and downs, but no more so than some and definitely less downs than many months before now. I may not have achieved much for myself, but actually William’s issues are now being dealt with, with more gusto than previously. Yes, the house could be cleaner, the meals could be healthier. But we are still here!
April, what will you bring?
- I need to get back into School. After my HR meeting we decided I should go in for some therapeutic duties, do some reading with the children, some art, cooking or something. So once a week, I will go in for the morning basically to see if I can still do it.
- Spain. YAY! we are going to Spain for a week. and apart from the obvious anxiety and worry that brings with packing and tickets and passports and parking and taking the boys on a plane etc etc. When we are there…sun, sand, vino tinto, GIN! …bliss.
- Phone upgrade due! hurrah!
- Find a new hairdresser (stress)!!!
- Easter hols, I hope its sunny…get the boys outside!
So as the picture says I need to open up in April, I’m open about my issues so maybe I need to be more open to opportunities, to change, to life? I do wish I was more optimistic at the moment I just don’t seem to be able to get there. Hopefully if the sun comes out in April so will my optimism.
We need to think of this not just in the context of our gardens but of ourselves. Once the rubbish times are done, good times will come. We will blossom! wow look at me being all optimistic! Hang on in there Lala, good times are coming, it will get better, I will get better! I am getting better (ish).
With love, from Lala xx