Why is it that I have this need to do everything, to be SUPERWOMAN? My husband told me off today, well reminded me to stop, because of my uncontrollable urge to be amazing! We are all suffering with colds and bugs (in varying degrees, you know what I mean!) but it is sunny so I wanted to take the kids to the beach, and do the washing, and go to a party, and mow the grass and plant some veg and….this is the point when Tim stopped me. “You are not Wonder Woman” he said, “you are ill too, there is always another day, the grass will still be there tomorrow, and the veg and the washing!” There’s always washing! I thank him for making me take a step back, for reminding me I cannot and should not do it all. I am not a failure for not mowing the grass, in fact I am helping the bees.
But then, why do I always have this voice saying I should be doing this and that and pushing myself beyond my physical and mental capabilities? Who am I trying to impress or please? I am extremely hard on myself and I often have feelings of failure for a number of reasons. My counsellor asked me to think of another word for failure. To try and say to myself “I haven’t failed William … I have … Something”. More of a middle ground not so black and white, I haven’t thought of one yet, there is still an overriding feeling of failure most of the time. I’m working on it…promise!
At what point in the history of women did it become necessary to be the best at everything? To be the best baker, maker, costume designer, donator, school commitee member, full time worker, cleaner than clean house, organic and nourishing dinner provider, and still have a sense of self????
Well it’s bollocks! We are all surrounded by women who portray this image, women who own their own businesses, work full time, have immaculate homes, well raised children, they exercise, are super skinny they have it all together! Do they, do they really? I find it so hard to believe. I’ve tried to work, bake, clean, run, spend quality time with the kids, I ended up where I am now, a shell of my former self, unable to complete some basic tasks. Should I feel like a complete failure…no I shouldn’t I know that. But do I still listen to these women, wish I was one of them, wish I could be all things that they are? of course!!
If others appear to be able to do it, why cant I?
What are these women sacrificing to be so successful and together? are they sacrificing themselves? their family time? sleep? or are they just Superwomen?!?
I suppose I am just saying, listen to your bodies, don’t push yourself over the edge to be a Superwoman, it is not worth it. There are a lot more important things in your life than your appearance to others. Be yourself, whatever that may be. Be the best woman you can be. You are enough!
From Lala, with love xx